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What if I, intentionally, wrote the worst book of all time?

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YourMother
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16 Jul 2011, 10:28 pm

Giftorcurse wrote:
Oh, hi Mark. By the way, how is your sex life?


LOL



YourMother
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16 Jul 2011, 10:29 pm

Giftorcurse wrote:
I just had to make a reference to The Room.


Yes, I noticed.



wcoltd
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17 Jul 2011, 1:22 am

Quote:
What if I, intentionally wrote the worst book of all time?


I believe in you. All you have to do is attach "zestfully" to every verb.

"He walked to his car and drove to the store." becomes "He zestfully walked to his car and zestfully drove his car to the store."

see how much worse that is?



Ambivalence
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17 Jul 2011, 6:36 am

Giftorcurse wrote:
I'm trying to prove that I'm not worthy as a writer based on how it fails.

Uh, okay, I get it. You must have a very strong desire to prove that if you're prepared to waste so much time and effort on it though!


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17 Jul 2011, 8:17 am

I understand Giftorcurse. I just don't know what else to say about it that's all, apart from what Ambivalence said.

That, and good luck.



JPanzer
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19 Jul 2011, 5:22 am

If you manage to beat such literary abortions as My Immortal and Light and Dark The Adventures of Dark Yagami I will come round to your house and present to you a golden cookie on a silver platter.


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jmnixon95
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19 Jul 2011, 5:32 am

"Worst", in this sense, is subjective, so you wouldn't be proud of it and there's a chance that many would detest it.



wcoltd
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19 Jul 2011, 11:39 am

Giftorcurse wrote:
I'm trying to prove that I'm not worthy as a writer based on how it fails. If people want me dead for writing such a stink bomb, the gambit will be a success; I'm worthless. If Cloudcuckoolanders, stoners and/or airheads love bomb me about how unintentionally "deep" the book is because they read it while intoxicated or in Pretentious-Land (or both), the joke's on you.


You'll never write the worst book of all time with that attitude.

The only way you can become a truly bad writer is to be absolutely convinced you are the best writer of all time. Tell yourself "I am so damn clever" over and over again. Then sit around and think of proufound things to say, such as "Love is the fifth dimension" and don't forget to put the word "zestfully" in there as much as you possilby can.



Jonsi
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19 Jul 2011, 12:29 pm

Depends, what would you be trying to achieve?



Tollorin
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19 Jul 2011, 10:33 pm

Wasn't that already made? :wink:

Image



More seriously you let your poor self-esteem cloud your judgement. Beside, seventeen is still young and your talent may still need time to mature. Simply try to do the best you can. You can do it. :D


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Last edited by Tollorin on 21 Jul 2011, 8:52 pm, edited 1 time in total.

graywyvern
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21 Jul 2011, 8:34 pm

the competition's pretty stiff...

besides the obvious undeserved successes (the Left Behind series comes to mind) there are famously bad writers who in this day & age have generated their own cult followings e.g. Harry Stephen Keeler, William McGonagall, Amanda Ros, & the redoubtable Lionel Fanthorpe; but due to the following anecdote i nominate Harold Robbins:

"Michael Korda...was working as an editor at Simon & Schuster, and a few years ago he wrote a memoir of those days, entitled Another Life. ...Harold Robbins...started writing one book to get the advance, wrote half of it, and put it aside. When he needed the money, he finished it, but he'd forgotten much of the first part, and so the second part had an inconsistent plot with mostly different characters. Asked what to do about it, he said, 'Leave it.' (Korda is too professional to say which, but I believe it was The Pirate.)" --Arthur Hlavaty in Derogatory Reference (now Nice Distinctions) 3

however, some friends of mine unreservedly recommend Sheba the Seductive Russian Spy:

http://www.amazon.com/Sheba-Seductive-R ... 1561678015

PS it was none other than Catullus who referred to himself as the "worst of all poets"...


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joeyfarlz
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25 Jul 2011, 10:30 am

If you deliberately wrote a rubbish book, it'd probably still be a best seller, because of the deliberate rubbishness... :)



wcoltd
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25 Jul 2011, 10:49 am

joeyfarlz wrote:
If you deliberately wrote a rubbish book, it'd probably still be a best seller, because of the deliberate rubbishness... :)

But then it couldn't be the worst book of all time because everyone would realize it was intentional and think it was brilliant.



naturalplastic
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25 Jul 2011, 4:27 pm

The litereary version of the rock band Spinal Tap.


you're up against alot of stiff competition!

A certain victorian gentlemen wrote a thick tome consitisting mainly of daily records he kept of the wieght of his "stool" ( i dont mean a piece of furniture) for some fourty years.

Its was actually listed in the Guiness Book of World Records as "the world's most boring book".



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25 Jul 2011, 9:03 pm

Something like this?

Quote:
DIGIMON SAVEZ THE WROLD!1111
By Peter Chimaera

CHAPTER ONE:
Chaos in the lab

The wind flowed spraying like into Digimon's face but he was not intrested. The wrold needed to be saved becuse an evil scintist had created a machine that culd destory it! Digimon has a hard time getting into the scientist lair where the man had a gun.
"It's too late," he smiled. It was an evil smile that he held the gun with.
"No it's not too late YOU MONSTER! I WIIL DESTORY YOU!" and he charged. And he used his digimon powar to kill him. The wrold was saved from evil.
"Hooray I saved the wolrd!" he shouted. "THE WORLD IS SAFE"

CHAPTER TWO:
Digimon goes home

But he found that on the way home there was no road. It was too late like the scintist said. He had already destored the road and the people were trapped on the island that they were trapped in.
There was nothing he could do. So he went home and cried.



Titangeek
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25 Jul 2011, 9:05 pm

Burzum wrote:
Something like this?

Quote:
DIGIMON SAVEZ THE WROLD!1111
By Peter Chimaera

CHAPTER ONE:
Chaos in the lab

The wind flowed spraying like into Digimon's face but he was not intrested. The wrold needed to be saved becuse an evil scintist had created a machine that culd destory it! Digimon has a hard time getting into the scientist lair where the man had a gun.
"It's too late," he smiled. It was an evil smile that he held the gun with.
"No it's not too late YOU MONSTER! I WIIL DESTORY YOU!" and he charged. And he used his digimon powar to kill him. The wrold was saved from evil.
"Hooray I saved the wolrd!" he shouted. "THE WORLD IS SAFE"

CHAPTER TWO:
Digimon goes home

But he found that on the way home there was no road. It was too late like the scintist said. He had already destored the road and the people were trapped on the island that they were trapped in.
There was nothing he could do. So he went home and cried.


Arg, is it possible to unread something : :lol:


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