Feel I am unworthy to ask girls out because they will be ...

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No I'm not. I'm painfully aware. I know exactly the kind of little manipulative jabs people make all day (and more than jabs), and my patience is a little bit beyond worn thin. Let's see how you feel when someone you love is forever outside of your grasp.

What does 21 have anything to do with it? That I should be naive? Sorry to disappoint you, but I am not. I pay attention. You just can't accept someone my age could possess any kind of depth. It's all completely agonizing. You will never understand.

Last edited by CWhite978 on 09 Mar 2011, 9:36 pm, edited 1 time in total.

If you say so.

Listen how about you shut the hell up, huh? The last thing I need is your arrogant f ucking ignorance kicking me while I am down.

Well, let's set the record straight here. When I replied with "if you say so", you had simply said:

Demonstrating typical "I know everything" young person attitude. Nothing else was shared in that comment at that time. You added the rest afterward. I don't like those shenanigans, especially since you've personally attacked me based on you "being down", which I had no way of knowing because I don't read minds. But let's dive into this new material...



That's it? That's really it? Did he beat you? Did he lull you into marriage with promises and romance, only to start berating you every day thereafter? Did he try to kill you? Beat you until you miscarried? Did he cheat on you, lie about it repeatedly, not tell you about having STDs, then tell his whole family that you cheated on him? Wait... this is unrequited love? I stand corrected. That's the most horrible thing in the world!



I was being flippant because, honestly, it struck me as angsty.



At 21, I had lived on my own for five years, had a child, a third trimester miscarriage, an abusive marriage, had lived in two countries as a legal adult, traveled to several more, and was pregnant again. I think a 21 year old can possess tremendous depth, wisdom and experience. I don't think that's the issue with your comments. I mean, you called all men pedophiles in another thread and refused to elaborate with any kind of rational explanation. These things communicate the opposite of what you're claiming is you... and that's fine, I'll happily take you at your word that you are who you say you are, but don't act like it's my problem I can't recognize your shining beacon of awesomeness from these weird comments.



That's just angst. You'll be alright.

Okay... you've also said...



So, you edited your above comment after I responded to you and then personally attacked me in an additional comment. That's not cool. I wasn't being arrogant. I was shrugging off someone who was determined to be angsty. I was leaving you to it. You're misunderstood in a world you were never asked to be born into. I get it. You're depressed because the one you love will never love you. I get it. But, here's something to consider: Love is something you do, not something you feel. What you feel is affection. That's really all it is. You have chosen to give that affection some magical powers that somehow keep you connected to this other individual. Love just isn't that complicated. You'll probably always be attracted to this individual unless you change your preferences but you don't have to love them nor pine for them to love you. Please remember that everything else in the world might not be sh!t until that happens.

But, hey, I'm raising four kids and assisting my husband after he's had major surgery, working my ass off at whatever little jobs I can get while I'm continually looking for full-time work so the bills are paid while my husband cannot work, just got done washing the 68lb dog and the freakishly strong cat because they both got fleas from this apartment community we're living in, helping to take care of my 75 year old MIL with dementia, looking after my foul-tempered 88 year old FIL with skin cancer and a swollen aorta, praying every day that my stupid minivan won't clunk out on me, and I haven't slept more than 10 hours in 5 days... but, hey, your patience is worn thin so I guess I can understand your attitude problem. And while my stress level now makes it obvious to me that I've been spoiling for a fight to vent some stress, I do think you need some perspective.

All that said, Moulin didn't deserve this much drama in his post. I do think Moulin will have great success with dating in the future because he cares enough to ask questions and learn from the answers. He's held onto the hope of things working out and is willing to try different things. That's awesome. He will make a young woman very happy.

OP, I don't know how old you are or what kinds of classes we're talking about. If its junior high or highschool yes, its pretty much identical to what you described. The problem with asking out anyone at that age, particularly if they're unpopular, is that they have to live with a lot of jabs and attacks if they say yes.

Once high school is over things generally get better though and, unless you're working in one of those small pockets (like certain chain restaurants) where everyone tries to cling to high school mentality and never wants it to end, you should do a lot better as you get older.

The most important thing in your situation though is figuring out what type works well for you. Again, difficult in high school with so much artificial static with the bullies having free reign over everyone and anyone, but after high school you'll notice certain types of girls who will gravitate toward you, and you to them, even if nothing necessarily comes of it. In other words, you'll figure out what type of person a) has something to offer you and b) you have something to offer them.

If a girl is so arrogant to think that you are beneath them, and is nasty about rejecting you, do you really want to date that person in the first place?

Asking people out is awkward for anyone, regardless of whether they have AS or not. Perhaps you should lighten up on the expectations -- you want to ask someone to go somewhere with you and have a good time, not be your girlfriend. So think in terms of things that would be interesting to you (maybe even a special interest of yours) that someone else might also like to learn about. Things like special events or fairs, museums and special exhibits, a walking tour around a historic district, public lectures on random topics, stuff like that. Or meeting for coffee or lunch, or other low-pressure situations. One of the best dates I went on with my husband was a walk around a nearby historic city that I had never been to before, for example. I would avoid things like movies and bars, in the first case because it is hard to talk to the person you are with and in the second because a) getting drunk can be problematic, and b) bars are always full of guys looking to hit on girls, which means that you might have competition for her attention. Plus they are usually loud and it's hard to talk.

Also, if you have a friend that you are comfortable with, you might ask them to critique your appearance and give you some advice, if you are worried about it. Many women would love to give you "fashion" advice, especially if they care about you because you are their friend. You could even talk to a personal shopper at a department store -- these services are usually geared towards women, but they are equally trained to help anyone. Most of the time they are free, and you don't have to buy anything.

But I don't know what I have to offer. My interests are so narrow that they couldn't be of any use to anyone.

There's a difference between talking about your interests and talking about the broader subject of your interests. I like fire photography, but I can talk about photography, the fire service, the police service, the military, emergency scenes, different departments, selling artwork online, showing artwork in galleries, copyright issues with people stealing your work online, and even funny jokes or youtube stuff that relates to all of that.

Here's an exercise that might help if you're interested:
Write your interest in the center of a paper. Then start building related interests that all file under the same broader subject matter in a bubble chart form that creates circular levels from the center point. Include things you know something about and things you don't know all that much about. Become broader with each level outward from the central interest point. When you're done, draw a radius circle. Within this radius is what you should consider possible topics of discussion. Even go on the internet and gain some education in some of the interests that you didn't know so much about before so you have that information. Who knows, the new information might actually beneficially add to your narrow interest.

I don't know if that will help you but it helped me to visualize it like that and it helped me create a plan to improve and be able to socially interact with people - which I have to do well in fire photography. It might help with dating, too.

Just ask! Getting rejected happens to everyone, so don't feel it's a reflection on you. Even the smartest, prettiest, most popular and athletic people get rejected. It doesn't mean there's something wrong with them or they're not worthy. It just means the person they asked maybe wanted to remain single, or had a different type of person in mind. Again, it's not a reflection on you.

Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Last edited by CWhite978 on 10 Mar 2011, 8:01 pm, edited 1 time in total.

You sure proved me wrong there.

A newly minted nihilist. Arent they fun? Nothing like the passion of the converts.

I can hear crickets chirping in here. Please don't let this outburst dissuade anyone from replying to the OP. The offensive post will be cleaned up shortly.

Hey, how's it going? Loving life? Cool. Good job. Mission accomplished. Look at the crime statistics and suicide rates. Mission accomplished.

Thank you very much for your constructive criticism.