Why do some people not want us?

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Why do some people not want to have a romantic/sexual relationship with someone who has quite pronounced aspergers?

Because they don't like it in a partner.

Why wouldn't they?

Really?

Yes really

Because we are unusual and the way we are might be a turn off for many. What would that emoticon mean?

They don't understand us. We communicate differently & act different than how they do.

And, to further expound on what Nick said, they are shallow minded, and unwilling to look beyond their preconceived notions, and educate themselves. If they would, they would truly find some very special people worthy of love and companionship.

I don't agree. Some people just wouldn't be a good match with Aspergians and it wouldn't be fair to call them shallow or ineducated for that.

"Normal" people have the ability to hide their true feelings and cover up their insecurities while putting the person they want everyone to see out front.

We have a harder time hiding when someone pushes our buttons, or when we want to show our best side it still comes out all wrong. When a NT person smiles, it comes across as charming. When I smile, it seems fake, awkward, or even psycho-creepy.

It really just takes being around people a lot for them to figure out the real you and explain to newcomers "He's just like that. You'll get used to it, he's really a nice guy."

With an NT, it takes a long time to figure out that someone is of low character or morals. With AS, it takes longer to figure out the opposite. In either case, the truth eventually comes through. It just takes patience is all. Otherwise, as an AS person all I can say, however unhelpful it may be, is to learn to fake it as best you can.

I've long suspected that If and when I meet someone I connect with, it'll go something like this:



..and I'm okay with that.


As for the topic, the thread title seemingly could be rephrased as "why does not everybody want people like us", the answer to which should be obvious. It's not that we are inherently undesirable, but we do tend to be outliers in terms of personality, and thus we won't be everyones proverbial cup of tea.

Perhaps, in some cases yes, but we are talking in terms of GP, and what would you call it, when someone judges a group based on a stereo type, without learning about a person first?

They don't have to want us.

The individual looking down at the water, "Why do N/T's not want a relationships with autistics?"
The reflection looking up toward the individual, "Why do autistics not want relationships other autistics?"

A lot of us do want relationships with other autistics, including me.

I don't know why but I found this simplistic exchange really amusing!