How Does That Make You Feel?

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Lately, I've been trying to be more 'conversational' when someone is talking to me. In the past, there is usually a long silence after someone tells me something, a story perhaps. I will either just keep quiet because I don't know how to respond in such a situation, or I will quickly say, "I don't know," for no apparent reason [What IS there for me to know? It's just a way to break the silence].

However, as aforementioned, I've been trying to be more conversational, so when someone tells me something that warrants a type of response that I haven't a clue of, I pause for a little while and the conversation proceeds in this way [please be aware that to me, these types of conversations are completely inane, and I have unfortunately been placed in this position]:

I can't tell yet if this is the right direction I should be going in a conversation or not. Do you think this would annoy people? I think that this is a subconscious way for me to try to evaluate people's emotions based on certain events. I'm positive that because I can't relate to the subject, I have no opinion about it or I can't continue the conversation, but I wonder if this is the right way to keep conversations going.

that is a good start. if i were you, i'd make some custom variants of that phrase, such as "how did you feel afterwards?" and "did it make you feel better?" and such.

I'd love to give advice but i'm struggling with this for years. But I'd like to say well done on trying stuff out, gotta start somewhere! I have at least overcome most of my fear around people. Just gotta keep trying stuff out I guess!

I would have asked "How was it?" and asking "what was it like" "was it expensive?"

Geez, why not just

"So, how do it go?"

I don't anything about those topics but the above would continue the conversation. Am I not understanding something?

I like it, it's a bit different. I'd like to be asked how I feel about things.

Here's how my conversations go;

"So I went to the salon today."
"Really?"
"Yeah, I got my hair done, a manicure and a pedicure, and a nice massage."
"Really?"
"Yeah! And then I went home and watched TV and ate some chips."
"Really?"

Not quite, but almost.

I found some humor in your decided reply, though I'm sure you didn't intend it to be humorous. The reason it struck me as funny is because, that's a generic line that psychologists like to use.

Let's look at the hypothetical situation you presented a little closer to try to determine a more optimal response.

Person: So I went to the salon today.

This is a prompt, which you have probably already realized. The person wants to share an experience with you, and has prompted you such that they may do so. They generally want to share with you how it went. So your reply might be...

You: Yeah? How'd it go?

Alternatively, they might be prompting you to notice a change in their appearance. If you see a change, you might reply...

You: Yeah, I noticed you (insert change).

After this, if they say something such as

Person: I got my hair done, a manicure and a pedicure, and a nice massage.

you might reply...

You: That sounds nice.

Then you might relate a similar experience.

some very spot-on advice there

I like to hook on to a word they said. For example in your scenario so I would oh I've never had a massage, what was that like? If I can focus on one thing I spend less time racking my brain for something more to say than "that's good"

If it's a woman and she's just said that she's had her hair done, I think it would be polite to mention her hair. You could say, 'I noticed your hair was different, you really suit it like that'. Then you could start speaking about needing to get your's done soon, or something similar. Or you could ask her to display her nails and comment on how healthy they look. But, you have to be careful, as overdoing compliments could sound like a come-on, if the person is the opposite sex.

I like to think about how I feel about things, but make sure I don't start talking about myself every time someone says something Having your hair cut can make you look more attractive, and a massage relaxes your muscles, so those are nice things?

"Sounds like you had a great day!"

If you have never been to a massage therapist, or thought it hurt (which it does, BTW), you probably don't know or think it's a good thing. If I can't think of anything else, I respond with a generic upbeat "Mnnhmm!" If it seems they didn't have a great time, I respond with a more ominous "Hnnhmm..." Often people just want to talk. That shouldn't be confused with an real discussion where you state your opinion of something and others respond by stating theirs.

That's what I thought too

I apologize for taking long to respond. Hm, yes, I suppose it does sound a bit like a psychologist, haha. I'm supposing that that's a bad thing? Either way, all of your suggestions are well taken, though. In conversation that I'm more interested in, I tend to speak more like you guys suggested, but slightly. Some conversations I dread because I don't know what to say next so I need to know how the other person feels about the situation in order to move the conversation in a certain direction so that it will have some substance to it. Yesterday, I was in a car of four other women, and they suddenly started talking about clothing stores and styles and malls, etc., and I just felt so out of place at that point, I didn't know what to say, so I just stayed quiet, thankful that there were able to divide their conversations amongst themselves, muahaha. I got away safe with that one.

It all comes with practice, practice, practice, though.

When people tell me they're going to get their hair 'done' or something, I usually have some time to get used to it, but when I see them again it's a very concious thing- tell them it looks nice first of all, then it's over with. I would never give a real opinion on it. In fact, I usually don't have an opinion on it unless it's a big change. It's just hair.

In your situation, I might say something like, "gosh! that sounds nice/exciting/special. why did you do it?".
Is that right?