Feel lonely

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I have a friend but they aren't very nice to me a lot. They've used my diagnosis against me, when I do something they don't like. I choose to not spend time with them a lot. I struggle to make friends though. People think I'm "weird". I struggle to join conversations. I want to spend time with a friend but I sometimes don't even like being social. I would rather be alone. My parents are saying I can't isolate anymore as it's unhealthy.

I just don't like trying to make friends. It's really difficult for me. I want to because I'm really lonely yet I just don't want to get very close to people. I don't want people to deal with my stuff. I'm a bit of a withdrawn person sometimes. I will cancel plans, and just not go out for weeks. I feel so insecure about myself.

I understand how you feel. I've felt similarly myself. I don't have any advice because it's very hard to get oneself out of that cycle. Best of luck to you. I'm sorry you're going through this.

i'm sorry you are going through this dark night of the soul, Crystal. what has worked for me is that I drastically lowered my expectations of people, IOW I expect them to be bad from the git-go, so when they outperform this low standard of behavior I am at least pleasantly surprised.