Do/did any of you feel not good about turning 40?

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I remember not expecting to make 30.
Life is a bit of a blur before 45
Every year since then I've resented really, as each exposed new signs of damage, removed more friends and family and presented greater challenges.
I feel some dread at what is coming.

I'm just 34 so I guess I got 6 years left before that, but can't say I particularly look forward to it. Now I get why some of my relatives liked celebrating their birthdays less and less as they got older. But my boyfriends already 40 and he seems fine so maybe it's not necessarily so bad as I think. And my brother in law is older than my boyfriend though he looks a bit younger than he is wheras my boyfriend does not look younger than his age. But that means he and my sister have an even larger age gap than me and my boyfriend.

But age gaps don't matter so much for 30+ adults I don't think unless said 30 year old is dating younger than 21. but like its not so weird for a 30 year old to date a 50 year old for instance as it would be for a 20 year old dating someone past 45. LIke if they really are both into it its still fine in some cases, but its just a known fact that some older guys try to sorta trap younger and more naive women to deal with a bunch their controlling behavior so its still a bit questionable if they are 40+ or even 30+ and dating a teenager. I suppose it would also be questionable if a woman that age is dating barely legal teens.

I turned 40 two months ago. I have become very introspective since then, realizing my life is likely half over at best, thinking about things I should and shouldn't have done. But I'm glad to have made it for the most part.

The only problem I have is that in late June, I had surgery to repair two hernias at once and I still have post-operative pain and mobility problems three months later. I feel a lot older than 40 some days.