Writing a book on Autism for friends and family. Need help!

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Hi, I am adding some purpose to my cartoons http://growingupwithautism.com/ I am working on a small slim book {yes, it will have the cartoons as well } that will help relatives and friends understand the Autism in the child they 'know'.

For example if you have a child with Autism, and people close to you {uncles, nieces, grannies, friends} are saying any or all things in the list below, then you may suggest they skim through this book. Leave it around in your living room. It takes care of their concerns and viewpoints as well. A very short persuasive read and not a ton of intimidating info that we as parents always read

That said, could you please help me expand this list with issues you are facing as a parent with regards to making your near and dear ones understand and accept you and your child better? I am currently writing from my own experience as a mother :/ I may not be aware of so many more situations and would really appreciate knowing about many different experiences you are going through.

1. What do your friends/family say to you regarding Autism and your child? Ideally, how would you like them to react?

2. What would you like to add to the topics below?

Content:

He looks fine to me.
Don’t freak out, all kids do the same.
Give him time. He will grow out of it.
Why push the child to speak?
He doesn’t even look at me.
He doesn’t respond when I talk to him.
He doesn’t stop talking!
He gives me weird answers.
He spins everything.
He has so much energy, just doesn’t sit still.
He does it over and over and over.
He yells when I touch him.
He seems immature, doesn’t understand.
He looks spoilt. Insists on things of no consequence.
What set him off?
He cries so much and so loud... just can’t stop.
He seems out of control.
He hit me, bit me!
So what does being on the Autism Spectrum mean?

Any/all feedback/help will be much appreciated. Thank you so much!

Oh for example a friend of mine told me she has often been asked if Autism is contagious!! Now that is a concern

The one we get a lot (which may not apply if you're writing about classic autism) is "Oh, but he's very high-functioning" or "is he gifted?" which means, depending on the speaker

I'm a helicopter parent
People who aren't high-functioning are freaks
My son's odd behaviors are really misbehavior I'm letting slide
I am making it up
I'm making a big deal out of nothing
Autistic people "owe" the world a "gift"
Does he really need all those services?
Autism is magical
My son should be able to do _______________

Thanks momsparky. I did miss the supreme expectations bit. And oh big deal out of nothing... always! Will add some points. Thanks

Wow, on re-reading that - I'm really bitter! Phew!

That particular line of commentary really sticks in my craw...

Isn't it difficult to make people understand when they think this way. Almost impossible. And when it comes from people you have known for years and are close to and have loved so much, it is so painful. One of my best friends very recently gave me countless reasons why her kids should have been labeled with Autism, but that she didn't and she had accepted them as they are. And that at 8-10 yrs age they are turning fine now. And that I should do the same that we are making a big deal out of nothing. It hurt no end. Felt so abandoned.

Ugh, so sorry. Yes, I've had a similar line from my own mother about how she thought labels were just a way of letting people be lazy, so she didn't let them label me...

This is one i kept getting when i tried to tell my dear ones i am autistic "oh but you don't act like other kids/people who have AS/ASD"

so i guess "He doesnt act the same as other kids on the spectrum"

Everyone's different even kids on the spectrum, no two autistic are the same.

I heard this one tonight: "Well, all children have their differences and quirks. In fact, our Lydia just . . . "

It also gets me when parents feel obligated to say, 'My kid does that too.' When what they really mean is their child did it once or twice, not every day! Not as a default! But they just don't get that . . .

^^That!! I've something similar to that a few times from some 'close' friends of mine--not about their kids, but just about how all kids have needs and all they need is some great education and loving parents and they all turn out fine in the end.

and my very favorite...

<drumroll></drumroll>

He just behaves that way because you don't discipline him.
(This can mean: at all, often, severely enough or corporeally, or all of the above.)

So right - but it's my very favorite one when it's combined with "Gee, all the other kids are allowed to ________________, maybe you should ease up a little - you know he has to grow up sometime!"

I love when I'm called a helicopter parent AND told that I'm not strict enough - in the same breath. Grr.

Right, and when i hear this from not-so-close people I have nice clear visuals of baseball bats floating in my head but seriously how does one even begin to make them see sense... beats me. And as I write this book I keep sighing these huge sighs

He sounds like he talks fine to me! (In response to echolalia.) To which I usually respond, "ask him his name, ask him anything" (although he is answering yes-no questions now, sort of, definitely making progress).