People look at me as if I'm weird

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I've noticed this for years...I now call it 'the look'

It's when I'm talking to people. As far as I know I'm taking part in the conversation fine but there seems to be a look in their eyes that says "hmm...this guy is not quite right.."...I see it all the time, especially with work colleagues and casual acquaintances. It's like when I'm talking to them, there's a slight frown in their eyes and a look in their face like they're thinking something about me or think I'm odd. Am I doing something I'm not aware of cause as far as I know, I'm just being myself and not acting weird or anything.

You could be doing something you are unaware of that feels uncomfortable for other people. It could be something like holding a gaze too long (staring feels uncomfortable for people) or having no facial expressions, or moving too close to them, or some kind of signal they are picking up that isn't working for you. You might find it useful to have a look at some sites or books on body language. Also if you can ask someone who knows you well, a person you can trust, who respects you, for some objective feedback on how you might come across to strangers, that might provide some pointers to things you can change once you are aware of them.

I get this all the time too. Sometimes they even straight up say it (for example, multiple people have told me I look scared or nervous when I wasn't aware that I did).

I once asked a NT friend whether people ever did this to her, and she said she had never had this experience. I wondered if she did know why people look at me like this, but just didn't want to tell me. Maybe ask a trusted person if you have one, you might have better luck than I did.

It's frustrating because I think I'm doing pretty well at masking and keeping up, but the person on the other end of the conversation clearly thinks there's something 'up' with me. I keep wondering if I should ask a particular colleague at work; he is very nice and friendly to me, and treats me like he might know I am autistic, even though I have not told him. I just want to say 'what is your perception of me?', but I know it would be a strange and awkward question to ask .

I have the same experience. I suspect it has to do with my disability when it comes to interpreting and expressing non-verbal signals. Since about eighty percent of communication consists of body language, there is a large risk for people with ASD to miss, or react unexpectedly, to some of these signals.

I know that look. It's usually indicative that I have done something socially inappropriate or unusual, and the other person doesn't know what to do now because we have gone "off script" as in I didn't just give them the rote answer or gesture etc that they were expecting as norm.

It's almost like they're not used to communicating with someone with autism as they're not accustomed to it. I think they're a bit out of their comfort zone and don't know how to communicate.

I've experienced the same thing for a long time. I remember it happening several times at a school club I joined and also whenever I spoke to cashiers. I brought it up to a counselor, and she said that victims of childhood abuse tend to be more sensitive to negative facial expressions. That might be true, but it doesn't explain why people are looking at me with negative facial expressions in the first place. People also sometimes look at me as if they're scared or disgusted when I'm just trying to be polite and have small talk. I know I'm not the best at reading facial expressions, but I'm certain that the way people look at me is not how they normally look at others during conversation.

My conclusion is that my eyes look different. I got this idea after reading several internet posts about how NTs are very sensitive to reading people's eye areas. Maybe my eyes look sad or "dead" to them. On top of that, I probably have stiff body language that NTs interpret as odd or inappropriate. It doesn't matter how politely I'm speaking or what the subject is about because the eye area and body language are most important aspect of an interaction to them. Tbh I've already made up my mind that that is the reason. I know I'm not imagining people frowning at me and giving me the "something isn't right with her" look. I don't know what the solution is but I'm not going to drive myself crazy over it. I was trying my best to get out of my comfort zone by being social and making eye contact, and I STILL get looked at like I'm an alien.

Yep because for them communication is more about eye expressions, facial expressions, body language, and tone. So if any of those things are "off" it's like they short circuit and don't know what to do.

I immediately go through the list:

1) How long have I been talking about this thing?
2) What was the last thing they said ABOUT THIS TOPIC, and was it positive?
3) If it was positive was it also SINCERE? ("oh, that's cool","neat","sounds interesting" are generally not affirmations)
4) Am I going to be done talking in 3 sentences or less? (Sorta like switching a rifle from full auto to 3 round bursts... I try to hold myself to 3 sentences or thoughts at a time, otherwise you're just spraying lead around the room and hitting nothing.)
5) Do I get "the look" when I am talking about this same subject with other people.
6) Am I excited about the topic

That usually takes care of the volume/speed/length/topic issues I have. If those answers make me concerned, then I generally dump the conversation as quickly as possible without being any more awkward (just stopping talking almost never makes it better)... I try to leave it open, like a badly written series finale, like THEY can continue talking now, and that will be cool, or they can walk away and that will be cool too.

If it doesn't seem to have flagged any of those things, then what is left over is the contextual stuff (Did I just compare their children to fungus? Sorry about that... that was probably inappropriate... accurate and funny... but inappropriate)... I'm likely never going to master that, and I don't really want to (cause that starts to toe into my personality being "wrong" and I won't tolerate that).

teh worst... omg if I can just not look at people when I talk to them everything is SO MUCH BETTER... except the phone, which should be awesome... is even worse...

I just want to have access to your non-verbals and facial expressions at my whim whilst you stare into a black hole of ignorance, and you need to be totally ok with that... cool? lol

When you've been a twitchy basket case diagnosed with tourettes, like me, then you learn to get use to it, hehe.

Truth is, there probably are some mannerisms you might be unaware of while talking with others. We all have quirks in some way or another. It's just a matter of identifying them and becoming more aware. It won't be easy, but it's worth the effort.

On the rare occasions when I do interact with others, I experience the same thing. Over time, I have learnt to accept this. I ascribe it to the way in which I communicate, how I dress, interpreting most language as literal and my difficulties understanding what is expected of me in social situations.

I feel this every time I meet someone new, which is really hard because I feel bad I can't make friends with the other moms. That is why I am on these forums, trying to find people that know what I go through. This is a new diagnoses for me and I am tempted to just blurt out to all those people that I am aspie so they should cut me some slack but then I think that would just lead to more whispers and looks.

I think it's something about the eyes too. Maybe I give too much eye contact, or hold my eyes too wide, I don't know. I have also been told I have a very straight, stiff posture. I do ballet so I am always very conscious of how I carry myself, but I think my stiff body language is also related to autism.

Once I was sat on a bench with mum and dad, and two people in the space of about 10 minutes walked past and stared at me, to the point where they were craning their necks to keep staring as they walked away. One was an elderly lady, the other was a mother with her family, so I wasn't being 'checked out' I don't think . I asked my parents if I had something on my face, or was doing something strange, and my dad said it's because I carry myself in a very tall and elegant way. Thanks daddy .It made me feel better about myself at the time, but it's still weird that something I do unconsciously can make me stand out so much. Especially because I see people staring and think I have done something inappropriate (I think, 's**t. Am I talking to myself? Am I rocking? ).

People do this to me too. Sometimes when I'm talking to someone they look at me like they are confused or disgusted. Then other times their eyes might get really big or they frown and look away from me. It seems to happen the most when I don't get enough sleep. I know I'm not as expressive when I'm tired and if I do smile or something it's more forced so it probably doesn't look natural so that might have something to do with it.

Yes. Or sometimes I feel like I'm making someone sort of uncomfortable, and I don't really know why. Am I saying something stupid? Making a stupid face?