Feel like I'm weird because I don't chat to hairdresser

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I'm like a shy extrovert; I naturally desire social relationships and interaction, but in some situations I can be shy and not feel like chatting beyond the bit of small talk, and that includes at the hairdressers.

If I was in a room alone with the hairdresser then I would talk more, but because there are strangers I just can't talk around strangers. I become self-conscious and don't want people knowing all my business, which is usually what chatty people go on about to their hairdressers.

My husband is shy but says he talks to his barber. Maybe it's easier for men to chat, as typically women go more into details about their personal lives, which I prefer not to do with a stranger.

Can a person without sh***y Asperger's be shy like that too? I'm trying to doubt my diagnosis.

Shyness isn't limited to those with autism.

It's not uncommon in general to find these forced interactions a little awkward, some people are more talkative than others at the hairdressers. Shyness isn't in the aspergers criteria afterall, plenty of outgoing spergs and shy NTs out there. That being said I think not knowing what to say is more common with aspies but how they handle that varies, being shy about it is one way. And just saying whatever and seeing what sticks is another method.

It takes me a while to warm up and I'd be perfectly happy to say nothing at all ngl, but if they take the lead and we get talking a bit more I start to like it. The structured situation makes me a bit less shy than if it were a totally random social encounter with no context.

The hairdresser I had today was rather friendly and I had a few conversations with him about hair shampoos and what I'm going to be doing for the rest of the week during my week off work. It wasn't hard at all, but I have trouble hearing as well, so there's that. Also it seems mostly older ladies chat away to their hairdresser, as the girl sitting next to me who was probably 20s or 30s didn't say much to her hairdresser too beyond how she wanted her hair to be styled. So maybe it is more normal than what I think to be quiet while having your hair cut. Like her, I got into a chatty conversation with the hairdresser but then when the conversation finished I didn't say much else.

The hairdresser is there to your service. No the other way around. It's a similar situation like riding in a taxi. If you politely let them know that you are not in the mood for small talk it's their job to be quit and leave you alone. Some people even talk in their phone while having their har cut. But that's a little rude I think.

There could be a cultural aspect. In England, one might be expected to interact differently with a hairdresser than in Italy or wherever you live.

Our daughter-in-law is extremely shy. The first time we met her, she would wait outside the washroom while our son used it, to avoid having to interact with us.

Younger generations do seem to be less sociable, I don't know if that's a timeless thing or a side effect of the current times. But 20 somethings have a more stand offish approach?

I do get self-conscious around strangers or people I don't know very well because I feel I have to not be ADHD. My social interactions are usually typically ADHD; hyper-social, chatty, humourous, basically erratic. While I don't need to mask AS so much, I sometimes have to mask ADHD around strangers so that I don't come across as too erratic. So I think, what's the point in talking away to a stranger if I can't really be myself? I need to be myself to be able to socialise comfortably.

One of my most awkward conversations was with a lady cutting my hair.

Maybe it's an age thing. Older people, especially ladies, seem to like to chat away about their grown-up children. Maybe they seek conversations because they get lonely, I don't know. I'm not physically lonely as such, as I live with a husband who is retired so is there all the time, and I have a lot of family and when I'm at work I'm socialising too, so I don't really go seeking conversation with people outside of my social circle unless they're likely to join my social circle. I go seeking conversation with people in my social circle though, because, like I say, it's not that I don't like talking to people. I just get shy in certain situations.