I feel very guilty and depressed...

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Now, before I say what happened, I want to mention that this IS the Haven and I don't want any bashing or trolling. I don't make threads like this very often.

Anyway, I feel very guilty about how I reacted in my Finite Mathematics class today. Usually, we have a test every Friday, but today, the professor surprised us with a pop quiz and an announcement saying that the test is to be moved to Wednesday instead of tomorrow. He said that this was because he wasn't feeling too good earlier this morning and thinks that he probably won't be here tomorrow.

Well, we were all caught with our pants down and I was confused on two of the three questions. Plus, we didn't have as much time as needed. So, by the end of class, I only finished one question while trying to work out the other two, but I didn't get anywhere. I said I was stuck and the professor took my paper.

Now, being a perfectionist, I got angry with myself and with him, but he said it wasn't the end of the world, but I disagreed and I continued to rant and then he got serious with me and all I could do was leave. If I was any more immature, I probably would have gotten put on probation by the university or other punishments.

I had a nice, long conversation with my mom to get over the anger, but after the anger comes the deep depression and the regret. I've been feeling very guilty about how I handled it all day. I feel like a loser for not doing so well on that quiz and I feel like a felon for handling it the way I did. I'm sorry if this thread seems annoying to some of you.

Oh god. Kalisters worst nightmare come true!!

Kalister must always be prepared 3 weeks in advance, or the test must be something Kalister can ace in his sleep.

Yeah, that'd piss me off, too.

Next time, go talk with your mom to let go of the anger and THEN talk to the professor. Ask him if its possible for a make-up.

Another thing to point out is that I usually restrict myself to a specific schedule. Plus, math is one of my worst subjects along with reading comprehension mainly because I'm not an abstract thinker. It is REALLY difficult to think in gray when I think in black and white.

Yoshie, you're being too hard on yourself. Your reaction shows how much you care about the class and your grades. Showing the professor your concern and voicing your displeasure with the sudden change is better than silence and indifference.

The story does display your perfectionist tendencies. The desire for perfection sometimes stems from our need for control. You may have felt events out of control with the pop quiz and you had a bit of a meltdown which caused your unfortunate response to the professor. Now you regret and feel guilty for not controling your reaction. Let it go. Many things happen that are not in our control. Your routine was interrupted by someone else's illness, which wasn't even in their control, and your emotional response shows you care about what happens in your life. Your self-awareness and display of emotion are good things. Don't be so hard on yourself or give too much value to such a small setback. I'm sure you will make up for it on Wednesday's test.

I hope things improve with you soon!

If you think you have mistreated someone then there is only one thing to do, and that is to apologize!

If you are angry at yourself though, I would concentrate on not repeating your behaviour.
I don't handle surprices very well myself, and I wouldn't be shocked if I reacted the same way should I ever get a pop-quiz thrown in my face.