marshall
Under the whirlwind
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Age: 30
Posts: 3403
Location: Maryland, DC area
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 Posted: Sat Feb 28, 2009 12:39 am Post subject: mental nausea |
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I keep finding myself in this awful mood every evening. I'm beginning to get concerned that this is something else besides depression. It's frustrating to me that there isn’t a common word for this. Mental nausea seems poetically fitting to me but I have no idea if anyone else can relate the same metaphor to how they feel.
I feel it behind my eyes, pressure and a fuzzy feeling. It's like there's a weight inside the front of my head. My eyes start feeling tired and my brain literally hurts when I try to think. I need some form of excitement or stimulation to lift me out of it but once I'm in it it's hard to get out because nothing appeals to me. It's difficult to even process a positive emotion. There's nothing I can do or think of doing that doesn't seem completely mundane or pointless or trivial. I try going on the internet but I get so tired of everything. I can't do some physical activity that doesn't engage my mind either or I feel even worse.
I feel like I don't want to be in my own skin. There's something very physical/tangible about it but I just can't describe it - the awful heavy, queasy feeling inside my head. That's not quite it but I don't know what else to say.
I'm so sick of trying different antidepressants. Every time I try to adjust my medication dose or try adding different ones I don't notice a damn thing except changes in side effects. I've been taking some form of antidepressant for over 10 years now and it's getting really old. I have no idea if any of them has ever helped me much more than a placebo effect. I keep wondering if I have some other kind of unseen health issue that's making me so miserable. |
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Tahitiii
Resident Whistle Blower
Joined: Jul 02, 2008
Age: 54
Posts: 2003
Location: USA
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| Posted: Sat Feb 28, 2009 12:42 am Post subject: |
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Um... um... um...
Let me look. That reminds me of a thread....
"If I am mean..."
http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt74894.html
That thread doesn't really cut it, but "Triangular_Trees" knows a lot
of stuff about partial lobe seisures & stuff like that. Send a PM. |
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Postperson
The Daughter of Indifference
Joined: Jul 10, 2004
Age: 53
Posts: 4314
Location: Uz
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| Posted: Sat Feb 28, 2009 1:26 am Post subject: |
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sounds like a combo of boredom, hangover and/or some weather thing that makes you feel bleh.
i get that a bit. |
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Apple_in_my_Eye
Huh... wha? Who?
Joined: May 08, 2008
Age: 41
Posts: 1210
Location: Lefty commie pinko-ville
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| Posted: Sat Feb 28, 2009 1:49 am Post subject: |
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Migraines maybe? That can include (literal) nausea and pain from light...
(Also I've been surprised at times how much I can misinterpret physical pain as emotional.) |
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marshall
Under the whirlwind
Joined: Apr 15, 2007
Age: 30
Posts: 3403
Location: Maryland, DC area
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| Posted: Sat Feb 28, 2009 2:24 am Post subject: |
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| Postperson wrote: | sounds like a combo of boredom, hangover and/or some weather thing that makes you feel bleh.
i get that a bit. |
It's different than a typical 'blah' feeling. Those feelings I can usually sleep off and feel better. This is a more urgently uncomfortable feeling.
I'm having trouble finding the will to do things at certain times of the day because I feel so bored um… boredom is a pathetically inept term for this feeling but it's the closest I have. I feel like I have to constantly find exciting or enjoyable things to do or I feel just awful. Otherwise it's like I'm mentally exhausted but, paradoxically, at the same time I'm unable to find even a semblance of peace within me. I don't feel like I can just relax or become sleepy. It's like a thirst deep inside somewhere that I don't know how to quench. Impossible to adequately describe. 
It's been this way for almost a year now. I'm not feeling bad all the time but it happens frequently enough to prevent me from functioning in life. It's too much to function at some point in the day every day. Right now I have my mom staying here with me helping me out but it's not going to be like this for the rest of my life. I don't know what to say to my psychiatrist now since all the medication in the world doesn't do sh*t for me. I'm afraid he thinks I'm just lazy or making excuses and it pisses me off. I can't convey how real this is because it's not a measurable thing. I almost wish I had a physical illness over this. |
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marshall
Under the whirlwind
Joined: Apr 15, 2007
Age: 30
Posts: 3403
Location: Maryland, DC area
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| Posted: Sat Feb 28, 2009 2:36 am Post subject: |
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| Apple_in_my_Eye wrote: | Migraines maybe? That can include (literal) nausea and pain from light...
(Also I've been surprised at times how much I can misinterpret physical pain as emotional.) |
It isn't literally nausea in the stomach. It's the same type of feeling though, in a metaphorical sense. It's something somewhat urgent where I crave relief, more so than plain old depression. It don't think it's painful enough to be a migraine and there isn't an aura. It's not pain so much as a heavy feeling. I guess it's pointless to try and describe. It's definitely strongly connected to my emotional state though. It comes on very strong whenever I'm disappointed but it also occurs from lack of stimulation or excitement. |
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peterd
Phoenix
Joined: Dec 26, 2006
Age: 57
Posts: 591
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| Posted: Sat Feb 28, 2009 3:03 am Post subject: |
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Your alternatives:
1) Suck it up. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other...
2) Change something. Probably, take a three month break from the pills. You'll need support, though, and I don't know where you'd find it. Leisure, exercise, good food. Conversation even... |
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Tahitiii
Resident Whistle Blower
Joined: Jul 02, 2008
Age: 54
Posts: 2003
Location: USA
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lelia
Pika
Joined: Apr 12, 2007
Age: 58
Posts: 2463
Location: Vancouver not BC, Washington not DC
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| Posted: Sat Feb 28, 2009 4:10 am Post subject: |
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Anxiety.
Maybe a sinus infection? |
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Apple_in_my_Eye
Huh... wha? Who?
Joined: May 08, 2008
Age: 41
Posts: 1210
Location: Lefty commie pinko-ville
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| Posted: Sat Feb 28, 2009 4:11 am Post subject: |
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| Tahitiii wrote: | | marshall wrote: | | I guess it's pointless to try and describe. |
No, it's not pointless. That's why this site is here. Keep talking. Eventually the universal translater will kick in and someone will stumble by who knows something. Did you write to "Triangular_Trees" yet? (aka Walking encyclopedia of neuro-stuff.) Just send him a link to this thread and get him in here.
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Yeah, I have to second that. One of the reasons I read here is for all the "I didn't think anybody else experienced that" moments. |
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Greentea
Goddess of Wisdom
Joined: Jun 15, 2007
Age: 48
Posts: 5678
Location: Middle East
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| Posted: Sat Feb 28, 2009 2:09 pm Post subject: |
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It could be from the antidepressants. Maybe you could take a break from them and see if the feeling subsides?
I get that feeling too, and your description of "mental nausea" is amazingly fitting. But usually I find something to do that makes me enthusiastic enough and the mental nausea is gone. I take antidepressants and they help me very much to overcome the negative feelings. I take them because my life is so awful (serious problems that have no solution) that if I didn't take them I wouldn't be able to function.
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anna-banana
indifferent peapod
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Age: 27
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Location: Europe
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| Posted: Sat Feb 28, 2009 3:57 pm Post subject: |
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the title of this thread reminded me straight away of a certain state I sometimes find myself in.
when I try to explain something to someone, but they keep taking bits of information and misconstrueing them to fit their theory, and the process of trying to follow their reasoning and at the same time keep a grip on my reasoning and putting into words how they are mistaken puts me in a state of "mental nausea".
obviously it has nothing to do with what you've described  you sound like a serious case of anhedonia.
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millie
bits, pieces, brass, animals
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Age: 47
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| Posted: Sat Feb 28, 2009 5:34 pm Post subject: |
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Marshall - have you been sussed out for sensory integration dysfunction as a component of your AS? it does mighty weird things to me and your descriptions tend to resonate with me in terms of sensory processing problems.
as for the anti-depressants -- i came off them after 11 years a couple of months ago. MY AS traits and my sensory problems are far more pronounced, but i am so so relieved to be off them - as if i am actually arriving at some point of personal self-acceptance that i have been striving for my whole life. my life is weirder again, but my special interests perseverence is right back where i want it!
i understand how you feel about anti-depressants.
what you are describing sounds like the mental exhaustion that comes at the end of a day if you live with AS and have sensory processing problems as a component of your AS presentation and experience.
it may be worth considering.
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marshall
Under the whirlwind
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Age: 30
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Location: Maryland, DC area
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| Posted: Sun Mar 01, 2009 1:34 am Post subject: |
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| Greentea wrote: | It could be from the antidepressants. Maybe you could take a break from them and see if the feeling subsides?
I get that feeling too, and your description of "mental nausea" is amazingly fitting. But usually I find something to do that makes me enthusiastic enough and the mental nausea is gone. I take antidepressants and they help me very much to overcome the negative feelings. I take them because my life is so awful (serious problems that have no solution) that if I didn't take them I wouldn't be able to function. |
The hard part is finding that wonderful thing to do. Nothing in my life seems very stimulating anymore. I get so bored with people because all I hear is the same old tired crap. I hate listening the radio and television. I'm so tired of hearing about the economy, about people fighting for sh*tty jobs just to survive paycheck to paycheck. I don't see the point in any of it and it makes my brain hurt. Now that my obsession with WP is beginning to wane I'm starting to hate the internet as well.
I know this is some kind of brain chemistry making me feel this way but that doesn't help me to do anything about it. Despite what people claim I have no control over my own happiness. It scares me so much to be at the whims of my own brain. I also know that going off my antidepressants for even a short time is a very bad idea. I've tried it in the past with a horrible outcome - extreme rage and constant meltdowns. They're doing nothing for my depression at this time but I still have to take them because I'm dependent. I guess all I can say is f*ck! I'm screwed. |
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Greentea
Goddess of Wisdom
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Age: 48
Posts: 5678
Location: Middle East
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| Posted: Sun Mar 01, 2009 1:17 pm Post subject: |
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Don't you have any special interests that consume you? I would think that with such a vibrant mind as yours, you'd have some very interesting pursuits... Did you use to have special interests in the past?
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